Story and Photo’s: Phil Wiley
It’s not only the royal family that like visiting Windsor for a holiday. If you’re in England it’s a great place for a weekend away because it’s got the lot: history, the royal connection with it’s castle and parklands, tons of historical pubs and strange old buildings, the theatre and great shopping, plus the lovely river Thames which divides Eton and it’s famous school from Windsor itself, streams through the town.
Here are a few of my favourite parts of this historical vacation spot of the British Royals.
The Crooked House
Popular Mechanic’s magazine named Windsor’s Crooked House , which is now a tea room, in a story about the World’s 18 Strangest Houses. Built in 1592 the Crooked House now leans at a marked angle, which happened after it was rebuilt with green wood in 1718, and as the wood dried the house bent.
There’s a secret passage in the basement, supposedly used for illicit trysts between Nell Gwynn and Charles II. And, less romantically for delivering produce from the market to the kitchens of Windsor Castle. In case you fancy sneaking into the castle for a quick snog with Princess Kate, or William if that’s what tickles your fancy, I’ve got to tell you that, for security reasons, the passage has now been blocked.
And if you just want to have tea and scones, be aware that the floor was never leveled, so you might find your cuppa sliding off your table.
Eton’s Porny School
What a totally brilliant name for a school 
Wish I’d gone there. Porn was seriously frowned on at my school.
But, seriously, I shouldn’t be taking the mickey, because by all accounts it’s a very good, well respected, school with high academic achievements and a waiting list to get your children accepted.
I took the top pic 5 or 6 years ago. The sign might have been repainted, or changed, since then.
Anyway it’s well worth a walk across the bridge over the Thames from Windsor into Eton. The school is on the right, just a short stroll from the river. Five minutes further along is the more famous school, Eton, which as produced a string of British Prime Ministers, including the current one, David Cameron.
Windsor’s great historical Pubs
There’s no doubt at all that my favourite drinking hole in Windsor is what I call the candle pub, but most people know it by it’s real name, The Horse and Groom. It’s just across the road from the main entrance to the castle, with The Crooked House leaning over just behind it, down the alleyway.
I’ll forever think of it as the candle pub because…well for one thing the very small drinking area inside is lit almost entirely by candles and a fire which burns all winter, but the real reason is that on New Year’s Eve 2006, just after midnight by wife got up from her seat to go to the toilet and a huge church candle fell off a high shelf onto the back of her coat, splashing her hair with thick wax and drowning the back and shoulders of her coat.
The landlord paid for the dry cleaning, of course, but failed to give us any free drinks, which apparently I wouldn’t stop asking for. Though I’d probably had too many already.
A year later, same pub, a different night night, on yet another visit from our home base in Australia, we were sitting at a small table near the fireplace watching the romance between a beautiful young couple, when the man reached across to stroke his girlfriends hair and his pullover strayed too close to the candle on the table and his arm burst into flames.
Acting quickly my wife threw my beer over him. Most of it landed on his head, but enough went on the flames to kill them. She should have used his beer, so I nearly killed her
Next on my list of Windsor pubs is The King and Castle, on the road that runs alongside the castle walls. It’s a Weatherspoons pub, so it’s big, cheap, and cheerful.Good, hearty British pub food, and the cheapest beer in town. If you’re there for a meal you can a big secection of meals that come with a drink of your choice. So if you’re driving and can only have one drink order your meal with the freebie first before buying at the bar.
They’ve got great toilets downstairs btw. Winning a best toilet contest in 2010 And seeing you’re just across from the castle, perhaps you can claim to have sat on the Royal throne.
Other Windsor pubs high on my recommended list are The Royal Oak down near the hill near the Windsor and Eaton Riverside Railway Station (excellent meals and a big range of beers), and The Three Tons back up off the High Street behind The Guildhall.
Other Windsor pubs high on my recommended list are The Royal Oak down near the hill near the Windsor and Eaton Riverside Railway Station (excellent meals and a big range of beers), and The Three Tons back up off the High Street behind The Guildhall.
Windsor Shopping
Not my favorite passtime, but seeing it rains a lot in England it’s a popular hobby.
The main shopping street in Windsor is Peascod Street, which isn’t the high street but looks like a typical English country town high street.
No empty shops here though, it’s always full of life and there are heaps of interesting shops and small cafes. Best of all are the charity shops, where I buy warm clothing, then give it all back the day I leave England and buy again next time I’m back in the country.
The rest of the shopping is around the old railway station, just 50 yards off the High St. There’s a new development (pictured) but like many new shopping areas it’s a bit on the soulless side. You can walk through it to the precinct of shops around the old railway station though, which is an interesting mix of upmarket tourist attracting shops, arts and craft shops/galleries, and importantly (for me) a Cafe Nero for good coffee and cakes, and a Wagamama’s for lunch or dinner.
The Guildhall Windsor
A startlingly beautiful door at The Guildhall on Windsor High Street.
The Guildhall, a couple of hundred yards from the castle, and right next door to The Crooked House, is where Prince Charles and Camilla got married in 2005. More recently Elton John delighted the town when he used the building to tie the knot in a civil ceremony with David Furnish.
A deed of 1369, now in the possession of Eton College, refers to the “gildaule”, and a charter of 1439 states that “pleas happening in the said borough…shall be pleaded and holden in the guildhall there, before the mayor and bailiffs for the time being”. A map from 1607 shows a market house in the location of the present guildhall: the main part of it is raised on wooden pillars to allow the space beneath to be used as a covered corn market.
The erection of the present guildhall began in 1687, but two years into construction the original architect died and the construction was taken over by the famous Sir Christopher Wren, who was born in the town in a house near the river.
Windsor Castle
this piece is still a work in progress. Windsor Castle still to come.
Further Reading on Windsor
Walking in the country: Ascot to Windsor (Berkshire Way 14)
Ascot to Windsor (Berkshire Way 14) … After a short stretch of road and a pleasant stroll through a piece of Crown Land, you enter Windsor Great Park through the Ascot Gate. Soon … Next door is the delightful Crooked House. …
Hastings House & Us: AN EASY DAYTRIP FROM LONDON
hastingshouse.typepad.com4/20/06
Buy tickets from the driver or the tourist centre. T: (01789) 294-466. Windsor is in the county of Berkshire, and has a population of about 30000. FOOD AND DRINK: Some good restaurants and pubs are: IN WINDSOR: Strok’s Restaurant (Thames St., near the bridge) English and French cuisine at an inn, … Crooked Tea House (52 High St., near the Guildhall) Light lunches and teas. T: (01753) 857-534. X: Sun. £. IN ETON: The Cockpit (47 High St.) Enjoy Italian and …
007′s London (Part 1) – MI6 Community
www.mi6community.com5/9/11
The pub was totally empty and, well, didn’t possess that much of an atmosphere, but I’m sure there’s livelier and better spots to be found in the ‘Jewel of Berkshire‘. 
… I was on that very bridge only a few days ago St_George, my wife and I often gone into Windsor for a romantic meal and always end up on that bridge admiring the swans, the floodlit castle, the distant fields, the many beautiful Christopher … Therefore, by default you spend most of the time in your favourite ale houses?
BYO – Bring Your Own Bottle directory, London and the South
www.wine-pages.com8/26/10
Windsor – The Crooked House 51 High Street, Sl4 1LR Phone: 01753 857 534. Corkage: £2 BYOW only in evenings from 6pm Wed- Sat Food: “British local produce cooked in an eclectic manner; worlwide influences” Cost (3 courses): £17 – £ …
Windsor, Bath & Stonehenge – Windsor, United Kingdom Travel Blog
blog.travelpod.com9/18/09
Windsor, Bath & Stonehenge: Read the story and see 23 photos of a visit to Windsor, United Kingdom by TravelPod member dsmcc. … Crooked house in Windsor village · Windsor … England, United Kingdom 259 reviews; Oscar Hotel Windsor 65 Vansittart Road Windsor, Windsor and Maidenhead, England, United Kingdom 23 reviews; Hotel Royal Adelaide Windsor 46 Kings Rd., Berkshire Windsor, Windsor and Maidenhead, England, United Kingdom 74 reviews …
For pity’s sake « quintessentialruminations 
http://quintessentialruminations.wordpress.com/
The misericords of St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle form one of the finest collections of 15th century carvings in England. Depicted on one of them is a fox in priest’s garb, preaching to a flock of geese. The fox represen
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The exclusive school – which is just a short distance from their £8.5 million home – was established in 1348 by King Edward III to provide choristers for nearby Windsor Castle’s St George’s chapel, which the British monarch attends. …
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Video: King George VI & The Queen Mother’s wedding in 1923
http://www.bcscitylounge.com/news/
On 30 March 2002, at 3:15 p.m., the Queen Mother died in her sleep at the Royal Lodge, Windsor Great Park, with her surviving daughter, Queen Elizabeth II, at her bedside. She had been suffering from a cold for the last four months of …
MasterChef Gregg Wallace has the Perfect Wedding
http://blog.suzanneneville.com/
They spent the night in the Dower House, a cottage in the grounds of Coworth Park, a Georgian manor house 01) the borders of Windsor Great Park. Gregg’s children from his second marriage – Tom, 16, and Libby, 14- stayed, too. …
ST. GEORGE’S CHAPEL: THE 76 ROYAL BEASTS OF THE ROYAL …
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This is particularly true at Windsor Castle. If you walk to St. George’s Chapel from the Castle State Apartments with your eyes looking down, you will miss some of the most fascinating sculptures and stone work. On the roof of St. George’s …
Oh No They Didn’t! – My Week With Marilyn Mega Post!
http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/
Curtis added additional locations at Parkside House, where Olivier had stayed; at Clark’s home; at the Eaton school, which Clark attended; and, thanks to an unprecedented deal, to shoot even in front of Windsor Castle for a few hours early …